Marina, 30 [Female]
Several months ago I moved to a new city to start a new job. Of the many things on my plate, I decided that I needed to find a good gynecologist and get the annual exam that I had been putting off for some time. More importantly though I needed to get my regular DepoProvera shot (I had been on the injection for the past year and a half). Since recommendations from my friends for decent gynecologists were sparse, I simply searched the database of my medical insurance company and chose someone based on their proximity to my work place and gender (had to be a female).
Over the course of the past 8 months, I’ve been to my gynecologist at least half a dozen times. Most of these visits took place because I had abnormal Pap Smear results early on. About a month ago, I had to undergo a colposcopy to determine if pre-cancerous cells were living in/on my cervix. The procedure was very unpleasant and entirely uncomfortable. However, I had undergone this procedure several years back and I knew exactly what to expect. What I didn’t expect was to hear from my gynecologist at the end of it that I had high-risk HPV and could potentially end up with cervical cancer. I fell apart right in front of her. The tears just wouldn’t stop flowing down my cheeks. I felt utterly ashamed and shocked. I knew exactly what HPV was and how people got it. I knew that I had brought this on myself -- unprotected sex with multiple partners. My gynecologist just stood there, cold and unsympathetic towards my situation. All I could do was ask her for a brochure on HPV and wipe away the tears so that no one else would notice. When I got home that night, I did as much on-line research as possible. My gynecologist didn’t tell me much and there was no way that I would remain in the dark about what was happening inside my body. I also called a good friend of mine who had had HPV. She was a wonderful source of information and provided an amazing amount of support. I didn’t tell anyone else though.
The results of the colposcopy showed that I have mild dysplasia (abnormal cell growth on the surface of my cervix) and my doctor is now recommending that I undergo yet another procedure to be rid of these cells. I’m nervous and scared but I know that it’s something that has to be done. It’s better than having cervical cancer down the road.
I truly believe that I could have prevented all of the associated stress, anxiety and pain of this experience by following safer sex practices and educating myself fully of the consequences of not doing so. But the fact remains that what I did in the past can’t be undone. However, it is within my power to keep educating myself, know the facts, ask the right questions, and make informed decisions. Although I’m not happy about having an STI, this whole experience has taught me a few good lessons and empowered me in more than one way. At the end of the day, that's what helps me get through it all.
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