Who to turn to?
Health

Maharunnissa, 33, New York [Female]

As a first generation South Asian woman in the US, things were very different. You could never go to your parents about serious problems, especially those they refused to believe were possible, such as my first crush at 13. As an awkward teenager, who couldn’t talk to a boy, much less date one, these were serious matters. But with each year, the seriousness of issues seemed greater. My best friend at 13 deciding to run away, got caught, and then, was shipped off to Pakistan. My other best friend’s forced marriage at 17. My third best friend’s parents finding out she had a boyfriend at 19, and marrying her off with all the emotional blackmail in their arsenal. The first girlfriend I knew of who got pregnant and didn’t know until it was too late. Seeing the number of my girlfriends that got abortions by the time they were in college. It sounds like I grew up around pretty messed up girls, but they were your typical Indian and Pakistani girls.  
 
The hardest thing about all of this for me was always feeling that I couldn’t help them and there was no one to turn to for advice or help. Hinting anything to my parents would have meant them cutting me off from influence of “those types of girls”. As I look back, it’s hard to believe that all of this happened. Not only did no one know, but also, there was no where to turn to. 
 
I’m sure kids have other fears and secrets from their parents today. But knowing that you can turn to an adult without the fear of being shunned, shamed, or shipped off to a different country, I believe, is invaluable for young person’s sense of security and confidence. It can also prevent a problem before it’s too late.

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